Very anxious

So it's been awhile again..sorry! Things have been going pretty well lately, besides our cars..again!! My A/C stopped and it's back in the shop. I get to pick it up today, so hopefully the air works for a long, long time now! Zach's car is in the shop again :) We are driving my dad's truck again. Zach is grocery shopping with it right now, so hopefully he can figure out how to latch the back and groceries don't fall out again! I can't believe how much we have spent on cars this summer. It's ridiculous! So Zach has decided we can get a fence! YAY! Can't wait! The little things in life make me happy! I'm imagining next year when Oliver is running around--it will be a nice play area for him and Corky! Corky was a bad boy this weekend and tried to bite Zach while he was playing with Oliver. On one hand, it's kind of nice to see he is protecting Oliver, but on the other, it was Zach..Corky KNOWS him! So Petey left last week...THANK GOODNESS! The house was soo full of his hair! I did a deep cleaning after he left and boy did it feel good! Oliver has been doing great! Such a big boy! He is holding his head up sooo well! I get so smiley and proud when I see him looking up at me! Yesterday he went into his new pool for the first time! He was so cute in his sun hat! He didn't really know what to think of the pool, but I think he'll like it more and more as he can sit up on his own. We went and visited Zach's family up in Kendallville yesterday. Everyone was so happy to see Oliver, us they could give or take:) Just kidding. Some of his relatives hadn't seen Oliver though, so they were fighting to get time with him! Even the little kids were trying to get Oliver! Oliver did so well though with all the new people and unfamiliar nap areas. Soooo I go back to work Wednesday and I am DREADING it! I have had a break down every day now. I even broke down at our daycare orientation! I don't know how I'm going to deal with not being with him all day! I know I need some adult time and obviously need to start contributing to the household again, but I am really upset about going back. I don't want to miss anything that Oliver does! I'm afraid he's going to be confused too and that makes me sad that he'll be looking for me! My first day I'm sure will be horrible! I hope it goes fast! I hope we only have a few patients so I can organize back to my liking (Spencer has already said I'm going to go crazy with how the supplies are stocked) instead of staying late to get it back in order. I need to get home to Oliver ASAP! I hope Zach's mom does ok as well. I'm not worried about her care/love for him at all. It's just not me! :) I'm worried his little routine we have going on is going to get all messed up and the nights may get poopy when I really need him to be STTN now. Guess only time will tell. Wish me luck!

A little delayed...

So this weekend was pretty good. Kinda stunk that Zach had to work! Sunday I went up to Zach's parents' house with Oliver because his sister was in town with her family. Had a pretty good time..food and family always makes for fun! I think Oliver thought there was too much excitement because he didn't really want to nap much! Zach came up after work so he was able to visit with them as well! Yesterday my mom came down. She had been out of town all week so she was coming to pick up here dog we were watching and see little Oliver! Oliver missed his grandma! He was so excited to show her his new talent...rolling over from belly to back!! I had found him this way twice, but yesterday was the first time we actually all witnessed it AND got it on video! Such a big boy! I am getting soo anxious that I go back to work in a week! I think I have had a breakdown every day :( I hope this new PRN job prospect for Zach works out...maybe I will get a day off! Due to a scholarship I have I can only take one day off for two more years! Not sure how this will work when we decide to have another child because we will NOT be able to afford daycare for two! Daycare is stinkin' expensive! Today has been a decent day! Busy! Cleaning the house after having my mom's dog here is a chore! He sheds sooo much! Only our bathroom left to do! Yay! Tons of laundry though! Oh well! Oliver is finally sleeping. He took a good nap this morning. Two hours on momma's chest! His second attempt at a nap wasn't as good. I think he slept like a half an hour. He just fell asleep a little bit ago in his swing, so we'll see if he was pooped enough to stay a sleep for a bit! His nights are going really well though. Last night he fell asleep at 8:30 and slept until 7. Granted, he fell asleep pretty much immediately after his bottle, but oh well! Sometimes he can't help it!

HOT HOT HOT

OMG was it HOT today! I think it was 93 degrees here. I was outside like 0.2 seconds and the heat felt like it was burning my skin off! Oliver did pretty good today with schedules! I was so proud..especially after he slept 11 hours last night! Zach's parents came down and kept me company today while Zach was at work. Ok, they weren't really here to see me, they were here for Oliver! I ordered some things for Oliver this week and they all arrived today! I was so excited! Oliver got a new mobile..so cute and matches his room well! He seems to enjoy it! He smiled when we put him in his crib and he saw it moving. I also got him the Cloud B giraffe that has soothing sounds. He seemed to zonk out pretty quickly when the mother's heart beat was played. Only problem with this "toy" is it transmits pretty good through the monitor and I can't hear Oliver breathing :) As some of you know, I feed stray cats out at our property line. When we moved in here a year ago they were tiny little kittens (three babies and a mom). They are still hanging around and love our house! We have a little dog house out for them and a place for food and water. They get fed every day and love coming to greet us while we are walking out with food! The past few times I've walked out to feed them a brand new tiny baby kitty is there. He is not shy, but definitely won't let me pet him. I've been putting out extra food so hopefully he gets some! I hope he'll let me pet him like the other kitties!

Freedom!

I got my car back last night as you all know and it made my day!! I had a Dr. appointment today that I got to drive me and Oliver to!! Felt so nice! It was at Lutheran so Zach met me there to hang with Oliver while I was meeting with the Dr. The procedure I had done wasn't too bad at the time, but now OUCH! Hopefully the pain goes away soon! After the Dr. Oliver and I went to Babies 'R Us...got in some trouble there! It was lots of fun though! Oliver has lots to show from our trip! While out, I treated myself to Starbucks and Burger King..yum! With all the spending today, you would have thought I hadn't been out in public in years! Oliver is sleeping...he went down good tonight! I think he was extra tired though so his bottle knocked him out! We were trying to not let him go to bed immediately after the bottle so he doesn't associate bottle with bed, but oh well tonight! Every other night has been a fight! Zach's sister is in town from Michigan for the weekend so I think we are going to see them tomorrow night. Should be a good time. We haven't seen them in a while now. It will be the first time they get to see Oliver, so that will be special! Zach works all weekend so we won't be able to do anything fun until evening and then it will have to be short so Fuzz can go to bed!

6/30

I cannot believe it is the last day of June already! Where did my maternity leave go?? Only 13 more days until I return to work--blah! I am already having mental breakdowns. I do not want to leave Oliver. I am having a hard time coping with the fact that someone else will be teaching my child the things I should be teaching and also possibly witnessing his "firsts." Zach and I can't afford for me to stay home. I wish there was something I could find to do at home and still make about the same amount of money that I do now. When we decide to have a second child, I don't know what we'll do then either because daycare will kill us with two! Today was another bad nap day. I don't know what is happening to my sweet child at nap times. I am watching for sleep cues, but as soon as I start nap time routine all hell breaks loose and then there is NO napping for a looong time and at that point he is soo fussy due to being overtired. Bedtime is also becoming a chore again. We know he is tired, so not sure why he's fighting sleep so bad. Little Fuzz is making my heart hurt because I don't know what to do...I hate seeing him cry, but I know he is tired and just needs to close his eyes. Tonight I broke routine and picked him up because he wouldn't stop crying. He eventually calmed down and let me put him back in his crib and he was fine. I guess he just needed his momma. Zach wasn't so happy I did this. He thinks I'm just teaching him if he cries I'll pick him right up. I don't pick him right up, but eventually I will. I don't like hearing my baby cry even though I know he's ok (feed, changed, not too hot, not too cold...) Tonight Zach work extra late..yay! NOT!! We hadn't picked my car up from the shop until tonight so I have been stranded in the house all day every day! I feel like I kinda missed out on some of my maternity leave because our cars have been crap all summer and we've only had one vehicle. I haven't been able to take Oliver out much and I'm getting stir crazy in the house. I have a Dr. appt. tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to it because it means getting out!!! Plus, I'm going to stop by Babies 'R Us after and wander, ok maybe shop around for a bit! FREEDOM!!

OH what a day...

Today was a pretty good day until about 5 :) Today I decided to switch bottles on Oliver. I was noticing that the drop-ins weren't very accurate with the measurements and I was getting tired of spending money on the disposable liners. We had Tommee Tippee bottles that we had gotten at my baby shower so I dusted them off and put them to use. WOW! Oliver took to these right away and snarfed! I have never seen him eat so much and so fast! I was a little leary that it was too fast, but it didn't seem to bother him. He did spit-up more than normal today so I decided to go to Babies R Us and get the sensitive tummy Tommee Tippee and also Playtex Vent-Aire just in case...we'll see if they work! Oliver took two good naps today! Yay! He also got a bath! He cracks me up in the bath. He kicks around and has fun, but his face is permanently in a stink face! He looks soooo pissed off! I really don't think he is though, he looks so relaxed, just with a poo face! After two successful naps, the rest of the day went downhill...Oliver got extra fussy. He did not want to nap and did not want to be put down! Zach go to experience this when he got home:) Welcome to my world huh?? **Side note: Zach was extra late today from work. He went for an interview at a Home Health facility. He is looking in to PRN work to pay for my shopping habit:) JK. He is wanting a little extra cash so we can do some stuff around the house and just get a little more saved up! After feeding Oliver his bedtime bottle, changing him, and getting him ready for bed, we went to war! Oliver was screaming tonight at bedtime, I think he was overtired! Within about five minutes of crying and us shushing and patting his back, he went to bed. He has been asleep about an hour. Hopefully the fireworks that KEEP going off don't wake him :) Hopefully Oliver isn't a stinker tomorrow because we are having visitors! Corey, Lindsey, and Aubree are coming to visit. First time seeing them since Aubree had surgery! Should be a good time! Alright, gonna grab a snack and probably watch the boob tube!

Monday...blah!

So today was a great day..NOT! Oliver woke up at 6:45 after sleeping about nine hours so that was great! His first nap was a success, but after that, not so good! I had to take my car into the shop today because the air stopped working AGAIN! I just had it charged a month ago and it lost it's charge within three days! I just slacked and waited a month to get it in again. I decided to take it somewhere new to get another opinion. The new car shop called and stated they charged my air and it was ready for pick-up. After explaining AGAIN that I just had it charged a month ago and it lost it's charge 3 days after doing so, they stated they would look at my car again. Low and behold they have to keep it until Wednesday to replace some stupid part that will cost me about $600!! Yay! We decided to fix it because Zach's car doesn't have air in it either. We would like one car with air..I mean two would be pushing it:) We just got done having his car in the shop and being told all his fixes would cost us well over $1000, maybe close to $2000. His car is not even worth this anymore, I'm sure. We fixed one of the items on his car so it could run and what do you know, same problem is back today :) Sooo both our cars are becoming money pits and we are debating on getting a new car right now. Not really in our budget, but we need a good car to tote Oliver around in. Neither of us have had a car payment ever so we are hemmin' and hawin' not wanting to take the big step of purchasing/leasing. While my car was in the shop I went to my dad's house to hang with Oliver (and Meg-o for a bit). Oliver was a big fuss-butt. He did NOT want to sleep and only wanted to be held! He wasn't eating much again today either. This combination made him a grouch. Eventually he fell asleep for about an hour and a half. Zach had to come pick me up since my car is staying until Wednesday. After talking with my dad, he decided to take my dad's car so we can have a vehicle that runs while mine is in the shop (Zach's is stalling and having trouble starting :) ). When we got home, we fed the dogs and Oliver and then packed him back up for a trip to the grocery. He did pretty well at the first grocery store. Yes I said FIRST. Walmart had CRAP for produce so we went to Meijer's after Walmart. Because Zach must not know how to close a Jeep hatch door, we looked like idiots after leaving the Walmart parking lot. I'll preface with that dad's Jeep runs, but is faaar from a nice car both in looks and sound so we already have that going for us. Also, I was driving and when I drive other people's cars for some reason I feel the need to get as close to the steering wheel as possible and keep my back perfectly straight at all times. I want to be proper when driving other's property:) At this point we're looking good in the Jeep! Sooo as we're exiting the parking lot, the back hatch OPENS and groceries fall out. The only way we knew this was the car behind us blew his horn. I pulled over and made Zach walk allll they way back to get the dog food that had fallen out :) The dog food bag must be made out of heavy duty material because that sucker was still closed tight! Zach thinks the reason it fell out was my Mario Andretti driving skills...I had to remind him that it actually fell out because he doesn't know how to latch a door! Quite a day! After our adventure, we settled in for the night. Oliver is finally sleeping, Zach and the dogs are in bed, and I set up fort on the couch again (I've been sleeping on the couch since Oliver has been tummy sleeping. Makes me feel better because I'm closer. Zach still can't figure out how sleeping on the couch helps any. Probably doesn't, but oh well, makes me feel better). All is well in the Beiswanger house now...